HOME SCHOOLING...

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...AS A SPIRITUAL DISCIPLINE, by Eugene Marks
...LETTING THEM BE, by Chuck Armstrong
...THE MAGICAL CHILD, by Diane Schevene
...LEARNING BY EXAMPLE, by Magnus Schevene

AS A SPIRITUAL DISCIPLINE

     We can't raise and teach our children outside of the system if we are living and working within the system ourselves. If we wish to home school our children, if we wish them to be responsible beings who co-create their own lives, we have to be the same. We have to be free to live creatively ourselves. In particular, we have to free ourselves from the time clock that tries to turn us all into unconscious automaton. We have to do this so we can live our own lives in the here and now of the Tao.

     Home schooling is a revolutionary act that frees our children from the usual social conditioning. It lets them look at themselves and our world more objectively. It also lets them be responsible for their own learning. And it not only frees our children from the system; it frees us as well. In order to help our children to think for themselves and to act from their own centers, we have to do the same. Thus, we grow alongside them in knowledge and wisdom.

     We have two young sons. I'm going to home school them. I have been a father before. I have a daughter who is now in her late twenties and a son who is now in his early forties. I gave them both over to the school system. I regret this. They both turned out well, but I don't want to do that to these boys. I don't want to give over my responsibility this time around. I want to raise them free of the social conditioning that goes on in our public schools. I have my own ideas too, concerning what a boy needs to experience and learn in order to become a good man.

     I want my boys to be bodies. I want them to learn about their bodies, but even more importantly, I want them to be comfortable being bodies. This is extremely important. I want my sons to be bodies with minds, not minds that drag along bodies. I want them to understand the spiritual aspect of body too, especially the love that I see so strong in their hearts. I want them to play competitive sports and enjoy gymnastics, running, bicycling, tree climbing, swimming, all that fun stuff. I want them to be at home in nature, bodies that are able to enjoy themselves away from our artificial cities. I want them to study martial arts. I want them to have Outward Bound wilderness adventures. I want to them to learn from Tom Brown about stalking and tracking too.
     I want them to be able to take care of themselves in the world. I want them to know all the basics skills--how to get along with people, how to garden, how to cook, how to fish and hunt and gather wild and edible plants, how to build a fire, and how survive in the wilds. I want them to know their way around all of the world, canny travelers wherever and however they are traveling.
     I want them to be well read too, self-educated and self-motivated in their continual search for knowledge and wisdom. I want them to find their own places and their own roles in the cosmic dance we call the universe these days.
     I want them to be conscious beings, accepting their own shadows and not needing to project them out onto others. I want them to be in touch with the feminine in themselves and in nature without losing touch with their own masculinity. I want them to be kind and generous beings. I want them to be good husbands and fathers themselves when their time comes. I want them to know and love Spirit.

     How will home schooling help my boys become good men? First of all, they won't have the constant experience of being pressured to be other than who they are. They will be able to follow their own flow to knowledge and wisdom. They'll be able to grow up being who they really are.
     They will also learn that cooperation--between themselves and everyone else involved in their education--will take them much further than competition for grades would ever have. And, by selecting their own studies and their own mentors, they will grow up feeling that they are the center of their worlds. Because of this, they will become self-assured, conscious, and generous men.
     Home schooling puts each child at the center of his or her own studies. Based on what turns them on--and children are naturally turned on and do want to learn--the children themselves determine what they want to study and how to go about it. They follow their own paths to knowledge.
     They select their own mentors too. Based upon their interests, they search for and select the persons who are best qualified to teach them what they wish to know. This is seldom possible in the public schools, where a child's personal interests are not considered at all relevant unless they happen to coincide with the curriculum that has to be followed. Also, it is seldom the case that the child's schoolteacher is the right person to teach what the child really wants to learn.

     There are people who ask; "But, won't the home schooled children be isolated from the rest of the larger community?" Not at all. Home schooling involves more than the mother and father teaching their children in the home. It usually involves many others, including the entire extended family, as well as mentors chosen for their particular knowledge and teaching ability. It also takes place in many and various milieu within the larger community--including the public schools themselves.
     In fact, many public schools are now realizing that, by leaving their doors open to home schoolers, they benefit as much as the home schoolers who avail themselves of the offered classes. For one thing, the money each school receives from the government depends upon the number of students that are enrolled. Being able to count in home schoolers as students really helps financially.
     Home schooling interacts with the community in other ways too. By its very nature, it is community building. Home schooling involves people working together. It brings many folks together, parents, children, mentors, and others, all working towards a common goal. And all these folks will feel the satisfaction of having raised the children's awareness. They will be able to see the positive results of their collective action. This will lead to the larger community developing a greater sense of purpose and accomplishment and, most importantly, a sense of community identity.

     I have been inspired to home school our two boys by the examples of two unique families. One family has home schooled two boys and a girl. The youngest boy is still going through his teenage trips, but the two eldest have turned out well and are now leading very creative and productive lives. I'm sure the youngest will too, just as soon as he gets used to the testosterone rush of manhood.
     The other family has also home schooled their two sons, and both are now beautiful young men, strong and creative, yet gentle and understanding.
     The following two essays present their own takes on home schooling and how it has affected their lives.

Eugene Marks

LETTING THEM BE

     So far so good. Ryder is a success already, both business and artist-wise, and he hasn't even graduated from college yet. Eartha was invited into Phi Beta Kappa last week.
      What did we do? For one thing, we let them be. They have their own levels of interest and disinterest. Sometimes they looked like the worst students in the world, particularly after they went into Public school. But everybody is different. You have to let them work it out, even if they look like they'll grow up illiterate. I think parents worry too much about education. If someone wants to learn something, they will, and you can't stop them. Likewise, if they don't want to learn, you can't teach them either. However, if you let them decide what they want to learn, they'll surprise you. I have never told my kids they had to go to college or, for that matter, what to do with their lives.
      I would suggest reading John Holt's book, Teach Your Own. Holt was a founder of the home schooling movement before it was taken over by the Christians. Read John Gotto's books too if you can find them. He was New York State teacher of the year. He doesn't think much of public schools, but what he says about education is very good. We were also influenced in our thinking by Joseph Chilton Pearce, particularly his book, Magical Child.
      Home schooling is a difficult discipline for the parents. It is hard to teach your own children, especially as they get older. For one thing, children love to be with other children. So, if you can, align yourself with other home schoolers so your kids will have other kids to play with. I feel that it is best to home school in the lower grades and then let them decide whether they want to continue at home or else go to public school in the higher grades. High School doesn't amount to a hill of beans anyway. But, the kids might want and probably should get the social scene even if it drives you up the wall. A social scene is all that high school counts for, kids don't get educated there no matter what anyone thinks. Actually high school should be over with by the time they are sixteen. The last two years are just baby sitting. They are already adults by then, and it is probably psychologically detrimental to the human spirit to keep them in the high school cage. Actually, they should be on with the rest of their lives after they are sixteen.
      So there you have it, that is what I am thinking at this time.

Chuck Armstrong

HOME SCHOOLING THE MAGICAL CHILD

     Marc and I took the approach that life itself is the school, so we didn't try to do school at home. Instead, we included our kids in our lives; or else we encouraged them to explore on their own whenever we needed to do things that they weren't a part of. I also recognized early on, in my attempt to be "always" available for that perfect moment of readiness on their part to learn a particular skill or concept, that when they reached that perfect moment of readiness, they didn't always need me. More often their learning came from within themselves or from the collective consciousness.
     The most important thing that I did for them was to model the things I thought they needed to learn. Not in the way of saying: "look at me, don't you want to do this?" But in the way of always thinking of the mirroring we do for one another. If I thought they were struggling with a certain task, subject, or relationship skill, I learned to look within and take an inventory of how I was doing myself on that note and then make my own necessary adjustments. This was recently brought home to me when I asked one son about an area that I never quite felt I had inspired them about--writing. I asked what he thought I could have done better, and he replied that I could have written more myself and then shared my writings with them. This just proved my theory, as well as showing me that I didn't do it perfectly. But to quote Stuart Smalley, "That's okay." However, my main goal was that they grew up having something worthwhile to communicate. And they have each done so. They have each developed powerful communication skills.
     One paramount reason for home schooling was to protect their freedom of choice. Magnus went to first grade for a few weeks with his friend at the end of first grade, so we (Magnus, Jordan and I) spent the following summer visiting schools until I was convinced that neither of them wanted to go any further with that experiment. When we moved to Paonia, they chose to attend Colorado Creative Education part-time and stuck with it until they didn't want to go anymore. I insisted that they trade for part of their own tuition and traded for some of it myself, because I believe in kids taking responsibility for their choices and in parents being directly involved. It is who we are more than anything else that influences our own or anyone else's kids. Knowing this, we need to put our attention on our own being and doing.
     On socialization: When my kids participated in group events, other adults often commented on how much better they interacted with others, and both of them often came home appalled at some of the behaviors they witnessed in others. Often people would ask me if I were concerned that they might not know what other people knew, and I told them that we have plenty of people who know those things. And, as a society, we need people who know other things. Magnus and Jordan know a lot of other things besides what the mainstream culture puts out. When they first entered the adult world on their own, I think their unique knowledge caused them some discomfort. As ever, Marc and I had to encourage them to see what they did have and how to communicate it to others when appropriate--and not worry about the people who wouldn't understand.
     We were also part of an extraordinary opportunity to create Vision, a public school program of choice, in Delta County. To give you an idea of how revolutionary I consider this program to be, I have considered myself pretty much anti-school for about three decades, ever since I dropped out of Cornell University. I think school actually causes many of the social problems we see today. I am pro-choice in that I think people of ALL ages deserve the right to create their lives as they see fit. This is why I supported my kids attending school whenever they have wanted to. Apart from hurting themselves or anyone else, I would have supported any choice. I oppose compulsory testing and compulsory attendance laws in particular. During the creation of the Vision program I actually held a job with the public school system and am now on the advisory board. This should give you some idea of what I think of this particular program.
     I think the most important thing we can do for all the children and for each other is to concentrate on our ability to truly be present. It really is that simple. Given the law of attraction, we will see ourselves and our children bringing into our lives just what we need, when we need it. With presence, we can recognize and help one another recognize this when it appears.

Diane Schevene

LEARNING BY EXAMPLE

     My parents gave me the opportunity to pursue my every interest. In freedom of mind, I naturally chose to be outside, at the library, meeting new people, hammering nails, and snorkeling in the blue waters of Cozumel. I met great people every day and adopted them as mentors for a minuet or more. I sought out people whose words ran clear. I am still, at age 25, continually developing my mind and my body. I continue to learn best from making friends with people who have the skills and the personality that I want for myself.
     Right now, I am spending time with my friend Lars Gantzel, who is quite the talker and who is a master in business, law, mediation, anthropology, and linguistics. We get together every Thursday evening to have dinner and practice communicating better with each other. I go to his apartment on Russian Hill in San Francisco and then walk to the Whole Foods Market five blocks away. I share with him my knowledge of healthy and healing foods. He shares stories about his family from Denmark and his experiences creating programs for Sesame Street that introduced kids to mediation skills. I love to listen to Lars, although sometimes it's a bit much. Last Thursday I had a breakthrough in our communication. I started to interrupt so that we could have a more balanced dialogue, but then I discovered that I could direct his mind and words into the areas I am interested by using my attention.
     Another type of learning experience I have had goes something like this: When I was fourteen I began an apprenticeship with Louie Novak an artist blacksmith in my hometown of Paonia, Colorado. Louie would give me a task to design or craft, and I would complete it. Sometimes I would get stuck, and, in being stuck, I would find my next lesson. At first I traced leaf patterns from a paper pattern onto thin sheet metal using a sharpie marker. Next, I cut the metal leaf silhouettes out on a band saw. This would sometimes take hours. I was used to this. I remember, when I was younger, reading the complete Grimm's Fairy Tales all day long, forgetting even to eat. My earlier immersion in projects of my own delight and love led to my ability to focus for hours on challenging tasks. This focus is a basic human skill that I have had from a young age. Perhaps it came about as a result of being responsible for my own attention and the direction of my studies. With time, the blacksmithing tasks became more complex: Welding and sanding a perfect weld seam, forging a spiraling black scroll, crafting dolphins in relief out of sheet metal, designing and building an ornamental gate. Even doing sub-contracting. Eventually, I landed jobs in Boulder, Colorado, and later became head of design at Jefferson Mack Metal in San Francisco. One experience led to the next, and focus upon and immersion in each task created rapid learning. I can still remember the exact sensations of sitting on the saddle of the rattling band saw, my tender ass cushioned by a stack of leather aprons, as I wove the blade through the raw plate and watched scraps of sharp steel fall, leaving behind only the steel silhouettes of grape leaves in my excited hands.
     Louie gave me responsibility for each project that I did. By doing so, I learned ten times faster then by watching him or just reading. On the other hand, all the books I have read helped me to surprise him when I put my hands-on experience together with my researched knowledge. I am extraordinary. I had my first business at twelve, repairing and selling Macintosh computers. I started my second business when I was seventeen--an artistic blacksmithing studio. I believe that most or all home schoolers will also be exceptional too, especially when they are able to meet and develop relationships with the smartest and most talented people in their communities. I had some advantage in that both my parents are highly educated, but I believe that the freedom to develop my own relationships with others is what really made the difference.
     If you are thinking of home schooling your children, ask yourself if you will be willing to learn and continue to open and expand your own mind. Are you willing to cultivate a love for learning? Are you willing to model the process of being a passionate, playful, human being to your children? In home schooling, as opposed to being in a school, we have an opportunity to allow for more time to focus upon the areas that give us the greatest pleasure. This goes for both parents and kids alike. If you keep learning and keep your mind open, your children will do great too. Whatever you do and wherever you go, you and your child will both learn. The difference between you and your children is that you will have to choose to be receptive. Your children are already naturally receptive.
     My theory is that the ultimate form of currency for humans is attention. If this is so, then the ultimate expression of democracy is freedom of attention, especially freedom to choose where to direct your attention. Some people may like where you put your attention, others may not like how you wield it, nonetheless it is yours and you can do with it as you will. I love living in this American culture, where the ideal is being free to be whatever we are or choose to make of ourselves. By freedom of attention, I mean freedom to focus our consciousness upon whatever, wherever we want.
     Sometimes I get the impression that many parents choose to home school because of their own horrific experiences with schools, hence the term "unschooling." This is a good reason, but not nearly sufficient to set a wide-open mind sailing on a long adventure. Parents also need to be in love with learning, exploration, and travel themselves. They need to be fully committed to their own learning as adults. Children learn most by imitation of the people they look up to. Think of the times that you have learned from the people you admire. Haven't your best learning experiences been ones of love and admiration? My mother and father were always learning and seeking out new territory for themselves. Everything they learned, I learned too. Most importantly, in my parents I had the example of two awesome learners. And from their examples, I learned to direct my own life. Of course, like all children, I was naturally a learner by virtue of my awe inspiring human nervous system. The main thing I got from my parents' examples that led to my unstoppable ability for learning was to be an awe inspiring example for all children myself! Children, after all, are the future.

Magnus Schevene