ZEN THOUGHTS

A Few Zen Thoughts For Those Who Take Life Too Seriously:

• Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
  
  
• A day without sunshine is like--night.
  
  
• On the other hand, you have different fingers.
  
  
• I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
  
  
• 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
  
  
• 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
  
  
• I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
  
  
• Honk if you love peace and quiet.
  
  
• Remember, half the people you know are below average.
  
  
• He who laughs last thinks slowest.
  
  
• Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
  
  
• The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
  
  
• I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
  
  
• Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
  
  
• Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
  
  
• A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
  
  
• Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
  
  
• Get a new car for your spouse. It'll be a great trade!
  
  
• Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
  
  
• Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!
  
  
• If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
  
  
• How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand...
  
  
• OK, so what's the speed of dark?
  
  
• How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
  
  
• If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
  
  
• When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
  
  
• Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
  
  
• Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
  
  
• If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
  
  
• Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
  
  
• What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
  
  
• I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
  
  
• I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
  
  
• Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

• Inside every older person is a younger person wondering "what the hell happened?"

Author Unknown